One Day At A Time Please

    Rejection is something that I have a LOT of experience with and it's something that everyone deals with in their lives. Some people are better at handling it than others. I am definitely in the percentage that does not handle it well. I've been directly rejected by family, 'friends,' crushes, girlfriends, employers, and even total strangers.      The first rejection I remember experiencing was in 7th grade. I had a HUGE crush on one of the girls in my class. I had finally worked up the courage to ask her out on a date, only to have her laugh at me with her friends. I was devastated. I couldn't be around any of them without hearing their laughter for a very long time. And it took me even longer to try asking someone out again.     I was involved in my first relationship when I was in ninth grade. The kicker is, I wasn't the one that acted first. There was a girl in one of my extracurriculars who came to me one day and admitted that she liked me. Tur...

     We're all guilty of it. We see a friend or acquaintance (or sometimes even a family member), whether planned or not, and they ask how we're doing. Most of us, without even thinking about it, reply with, "I'm fine" or "I'm good" and return the greeting. How often is that actually the case though? I know for me, it's almost never. I'm rarely having what would be considered an 'average' good day. A good day for me is one where I don't feel like I'm a burden and a failure.     Those days are few and far between. Logically, I know I'm not the only person who feels this, but when I'm at a low, that's what it feels like to me. But I'll talk more about that later. Right now, I want to talk about feelings. No, not the mushy gushy feelings that you're probably imagining, the deep, real, raw feelings that stay hidden until we say they can come out.     The picture I chose for this post is a pretty accurate repres...

      My silence is deafening. This war that's been going on in my mind for years now has remained my sole burden to carry. Why? Because to share it with those around me is to add to their burdens. The guilt that comes with that would be unbearable.     So I choose to keep it inside. Until now. Today, day 1, I reached a breaking point. Today, I almost went through with the single most selfish action anyone could ever commit...It's hard to actually even type the words...Today...I almost ended my life. I had the prescription bottle opened and something to wash it all down with. I even wrote my note.     I'm not telling you this because I want your attention or your pity. I'm writing this because I know I'm not the only one who has ever felt this way. I'm writing this for the person sitting there feeling the same way I felt (and still feel) today. I'm glad I didn't do it, even though I felt like every ounce of my being wanted me to.     But I st...