One Day At A Time Please

      Delving into another manifestation of depression, we find fear. This emotion is interesting, as it can be the driving force behind other emotions, such as anger. I know this is true for me, even to the point that I will immediately become defensive and hostile when someone I love is asking me something simple. It doesn't need to happen, but it is an automatic response from me.      Fear makes people do strange things. One such example of this in my life is that I have yet to tell anyone from my personal life that I am struggling with depression, out of the fear of their judgment and rejection.  I know, I know, "that's not what will actually happen." While this is true, I'm not very good at rejection (see my post from Jan 4), and the fear that comes with telling them that I'm experiencing depression is overwhelming.     Fear has it's place, it's there to keep us safe or from doing something dangerous. But when fear gets out of hand, it b...

    Rejection is something that I have a LOT of experience with and it's something that everyone deals with in their lives. Some people are better at handling it than others. I am definitely in the percentage that does not handle it well. I've been directly rejected by family, 'friends,' crushes, girlfriends, employers, and even total strangers.      The first rejection I remember experiencing was in 7th grade. I had a HUGE crush on one of the girls in my class. I had finally worked up the courage to ask her out on a date, only to have her laugh at me with her friends. I was devastated. I couldn't be around any of them without hearing their laughter for a very long time. And it took me even longer to try asking someone out again.     I was involved in my first relationship when I was in ninth grade. The kicker is, I wasn't the one that acted first. There was a girl in one of my extracurriculars who came to me one day and admitted that she liked me. Tur...